I Have a Magic All-Powerful Broom
| October 11, 2011 | Posted by Kelly K @ Writing w/ Chaos under Nonfiction |
The strokes were even, a beat to a silent song. Each swipe of the broom broke the stillness.
Do something. Stop her.
I watched as she went over the same spot. Again.
It doesn’t take twenty minutes to sweep a tiny hallway. You need to step in.
The broom danced, knowing the steps by heart, a deep-seeded ritual. But her eyes…
Her eye-lids were open, but the door to her thoughts was slammed shut – her mind swept away by her OCD.
You’re procrastinating. You went to therapy with her. You know what to do now. You aren’t helpless.
My shoulders tightened with resolve.
I could do this.
“What are you doing, Bobbi?”
“I’m fine.” Her words brushed me away.
“Why are you sweeping the floor?”
“It isn’t clean. It’s wrong.”
I glanced at the tiles. Every last speck and crumb had long been swept away. “What happens if it’s wrong, Bobbi?”
Her eyes fired at me, annoyance painted over her features. “Then it isn’t right.”
“What happens if it isn’t right?”
Another laser beam shot my way. “If it isn’t right, it’s wrong. Bad stuff will happen.”
“What will happen?”’
“People will die.” She snapped the words.
“Is my broom all-powerful?”
She paused in the rhythm. “What?”
“Do I own a magical broom?”
“No.”
“So tell me how my non-magical broom can make people die?
She stopped, her glare trying to make me disappear.
“How Bobbi?”
“It’s… It’s… It has to be right.”
What was I supposed to do when I reached the morbid obsession?
Would it be okay to be funny?
“So what you’re saying is, I miraculously bought an all-powerful broom capable of deciding who lives and who dies?”
And there it was. A giggle. “No. Yes.”
I smiled.
Maybe I could help her after all.
* * * * *
In “On Writing” Stephen King wrote, “The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.”
Write a memoir post – first-person and true – inspired by that statement.
* * * * *
This post is about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
What I did with Bobbi is called “exposure”, a very important part of helping someone with OCD.
This was the first time I ever tried to do one and I was afraid I’d screw it up right until I got her to laugh.
That was five years ago.
OCD has no cure. It never stops.
But it can be controlled.
Tonight I somehow did an exposure while instant messaging with her, and she was so into her thought loop, she didn’t catch on until the very end.
It’s gotten a lot easier as I’ve improved and learned how best to help her.
October 10 – 16 is National OCD Awareness Week.
OCD, like many mental health diseases, is very misunderstood because people are misinformed about it. They base much of their knowledge on TV shows, the only exposure they have to it.
So please, please, read this post about the Top 10 Things People Say About OCD That Are Likely To Hit a Hot Button just because of ignorance and misinformation.
Pass it on. Share it on Facebook. Tweet it.
Help me spread OCD Awareness this week.
Feel free to leave concrit as well about this piece.
[...] I’ve lived with obsessive-compulsive disorder for my whole life. Surprisingly enough, the little white pills didn’t rob me of my personality. Nor were they the be-all, end-all to treatment. That required therapy, years of work, setbacks, and countless exposures. (My best friend writes this week about the first exposure she talked me through.) [...]
Marvelous! I have PTSD and my husband has used the same technique with me on many occasions to pull me out of irrational thinking. I love the way you handled this exchange!
Melanie recently posted..Fear and Telling
I am so glad your husband also learned how to help you.
I don’t have PTSD experience, but it’s nice to know this technique would be useful there as well.
Kelly K @ Writing w/ Chaos recently posted..I Have a Magic All-Powerful Broom
Thanks so much for your kind comments on my blog. I think you are right about parents taking responsibility. It has been 10 yrs since that meeting and they have not changed. But I have.
Melanie recently posted..Fear and Telling
Wow, that is a terrific memory–thank you so much for sharing it!
You’re welcome.
Kelly K @ Writing w/ Chaos recently posted..I Have a Magic All-Powerful Broom
absolutely awesome how you were able to get to her with a joke. Great read. thanks for sharing.
Gayletrini recently posted..Just a diaper!
The key is, I would not have known what to joke about had I not gone through this exposure response prevention technique.
My uneducated self would probably have joked about the floors being clean already, which would have done nothing.
Because I delved to the real reason – to her using the broom was a way to control and prevent her fears from coming true – the broom had to be all-powerful.
She still tells herself that today when she’s tempted to use it in that fashion.
Not only is she blessed to have you as a best friend, but I think your life has been enriched by knowing her as well. Hugs to both of you.
My Pajama Days recently posted..Two dead, one injured
I was (and often am) living with the fear I would make things worse no matter what I did.
I’ve learned to trust my instincts. I think I choose right about 95% of the time…
I tease that Everyone in my family must have OCD just a little bit, but I know now how inconsiderate it is to say that…thank you for that lesson this week. TRULY.
This was written so well and didn’t diminish either of you with the exchange, you are a true friend to her. BRAVO for all the exposure you are giving OCD this month.
Kir recently posted..RemembeRED: An Education
I’m doing my best to try to educate as many people as I can.
Misinformation and assumptions about OCD hit my hot buttons too. I know I once went off on Old Tweener because I felt her portrayal of an OCD character in a prompt wasn’t 100% accurate.
I didn’t mean to rant so much, and it was hindered by one comment being eaten and having to retype it slightly less articulate, but it was a knee jerk reaction.
Misrepresenting OCD can do more harm than good. Which means my friend and others like her can be hurt because of it.
Sheri was very gracious in her response, but is why I feel the need to give a real portrayal.
this post is just … amazing. thank you so much for sharing it in this manner.
christina recently posted..Life
Thank you Christina.
I hope it shed some light on OCD.
Kelly K @ Writing w/ Chaos recently posted..Do Not Touch My Drumstick
I have kids like that at work. We have to kind of call them out on their rituals, and humor helps a lot!
Anastasia recently posted..Fear of Failure
I have found humor an excellent tool when dealing with an episode.
But I have to know what to make amusing. That took a lot of practice.
Kelly K @ Writing w/ Chaos recently posted..The Pay it Forward Challenge – Link Is Up
She is so lucky to have you as a friend! Not only are you accepting of the disease, but you are trying to actively help.
Because I make inappropriate jokes, I will say I wish I had a magic broom. And toilet brush. And oven.
Great job of showing both sides of this tale. I was able to relate to both you and Bobbi. I love how you were able to bring humor into the situation. The old cliche is true, laughter really is the best medicine.
Katie recently posted..Telephonophobia
Really interesting, Kelly. Thanks for sharing!!
Cheryl @ Mommypants recently posted..Love times two – Wordless Wednesday
Wonderful post……you have a knack of getting really important lessons across in an easy to understand way. My family also used humor quite a bit in helping my son Dan recover from severe OCD. You are so right, you have to know the right thing to make fun of.
You and Bobbi are so lucky to have each other!
[...] It is a testament to both A) how lost she was in guilt and blame in her loop and B) how good I’ve gotten in five years of doing exposures. [...]